Born into feeding grounds

I  am not a number
not the One
not the Infinite Possibility in an endless matrix of outcomes
unless I lie
to you
and to myself
it is not something I could have avoided
being many numbers to many masters
owners of symbols and quantities
they count every rogue breath of mine
every twisted thought process
every crime of seeing and wanting too much
for my human kind

it is not that I am hypnotized by the promises of order
I was born into their lair
their feeding ground
and I still
do not identify as liability
or food to hidden parasites
so evident and irritating to my consciousness
is their constant running us down
and burning
in the Black Sun