I am not

this new me is taking over tired
with dying breath
saying nothing
and is leading me silently home up the heavenly stairs
this new me is getting old
sick
will trip over every step of the fate
confused
already gave up on many faces and skins
while old me is still looking forward to take a different path
no-nonsense
down to Earth
shed nothing but people and dreams
nevertheless the new me took my hand as if I was a child
even though old me is not there yet
I really am not
I wish I could pass on this trip
run it into a snag
but I am too traumatized to oppose him
I just stumble behind hypnotized
terrified
as if I had no choice
but to comply
expire
let him sacrifice both of us
fine by me
to push that sick walk
and watch
as blood soaks into the dirt beneath my feet
instead of turning into wine