robert bronisz **** CHICAGO

my father used to warn me
“son,
beautiful women belong to everyone,
chose wisely”
he also kept inserting his credo into my mind:
” Everything is a lie”
I wondered why he chose my mother
the most truly beautiful woman around

I find more of my father in me as I age
I have already learned the hard way
beautiful women belonged to everyone
had many of them in spectacular shapes
diva packages from all walks of pretense
I also know everything sensual is a lie
he is gone now and in his end
he contradicted himself
it became obvious he taught me not only about nuisances of life
he also taught me facts of death
how much longer do I have to tell it to my mother’s beautiful face
as we barely recognize ourselves
mother, don’t look at me
death is a lie.

religions come
religions go
women come and go
empires and dogs
golden masks
regrets spoken to icons
lunatics building altars to clowns
other things worthless come and go for while I am away
waiting to be reborn with the first ray of the Sun

signs for words
words for signs
shadow of the past smells like the funeral ahead
delayed sacrifice
why wake up to heavy thoughts
from before there was any fire

the bitter taste of circles
the frustration of asking for forgiveness
our featured God is dead
bring your own divinity from lowlands
wells of life get buried with ash
blood-stained hands
get bound
by the irreversibility of ruins and murder

you
walk the walk
Victorious
Glorious
mortified angels waitings in the wings to cede the power

I never lost my soul to Whispering Entities
I thought there was one of them
naive me
pig in a slaughterhouse
distracted by banana peels
many
Whispering Entities
the whole tribe fought for the pig
between themselves
desperate parasites
because the pig turned god
exhibition of energies was phenomenal
a drop of life
since the Flood
levitating above the surface of million droughts
imagine that
golden kill above the field of fire
wild
they wanted it
unless there was another reason for being chosen
by the desert snakes

inhumane dusk
wind pushing darkness West
trees are listening
crowns are religiously touching the ground
my place in the house of the devil
empty

madness
madness probably bluffed again
then breathe
breathe through the tube
the magic flute will help you
escape into the shell of interdimensional deafness

I didn’t want to get old with her
Light of my World
watch her
slide a day deeper into the abyss
the best of her disappear
beyond the point of no return
couldn’t find enough indifference to her fate
enough peace to live with it like a man

I would rather get blind
I would rather hit the wall
I would rather break myself down into building blocks of pain
than watch my dream vanish
I need a lie
I need a lie as big as they come

I told the man in the mirror to change his mind
which after consideration he of course did
but he lied about it to himself
so I see no change in his reflection in me
absolutely no difference in the glass eye
I use to look inside
and the window I use to look outside of who I am
the mountain range is still on the horizon
the ocean is vast and deep
love is alien and unheard of
many other things that confuse my landscape

I buried mirror face in my iron hands
hoping to break it into tears
it didn’t work
no emotions were drawn or bled now as ever before

and what would I do with so much drama
on my path anyway
or him for that matter?
besides, I already know all his lies about his latest death and about seeing synagogues in a new light
as far as me
I am slowly getting used to the sturdy composure of an old age
alien monolith I have become
it feels good to know
I possess the patience to remain silent
the problem being
I don’t recall which silence I used to brace that new mind of his

at first
out of boredom or possibly fear
I tried to attract birds of paradise
by singing their songs
by dancing
by being still and sweet
by growing the longest wings the skies have ever seen
by planting seeds
by quietly sipping tea
honestly
I tried everything to detach myself from this artificial reality
its designed
intelligent hostilities
I even tried to attract women with the rhythm of my soul
expressions of my dreams
wildflowers
puppy golden retrievers running around puffy clouds
I finally tried to write a song not to feel alone and lost
in this world that we live in now
not of ours
its insanity
its blind and hypnotized walk through hysteria
through the paranoia of ancient war against us
humanity

then I realized
If lacking something as fundamental as freedom
did not impair my life
perhaps the same could be true of food
family
justice
every aspect of survival
maybe I am not a natural
living man
and am being cultivated for my organs
my labor
my sperm
my meat
an incubated organism
a cursed hybrid
patented transhuman
under the lamp

no
I will not rent them any space in my head
I will defend my God-like self
my unique name
to my unique soul
against the Beast and the usual traitors
I need women to kiss my lips
shoulders
faces of fear
birds of paradise to sing
in the language that takes me back
to the slow-motion Moon
silver lining
reflection of Big Earth
handwriting I have to live with
imprinted on the dome

would I be selfish
if I expected
trees to stop climbing to living skies
waves to stop wanting to crash
Moon to stop breaking through the curtains of night
calendars to stop navigating our minds through time
after I died?
a funeral procession takes spectators
I expect none
just my body and the undertaker
working overtime for extra cash while it lasts
me
being late
being old
free of myself
and for fun in the afterworld
him
to make ends meet
a full circle of life
on the cemetery
funeral bells
wailing irony and hate
to summer storms

would I be selfish
if I expected to die last
so only I suffered through every single loss of life
but mine?

unfollowed by family
what do I stand to lose?
the trees that climb to the stars
waves that crash
The moon that shines through the night

calendars don’t count
chariots of time get buried with us
calendars die
from exposure to humans

11:19 just flashed at my face
right after 11:11 made itself present
only a few whispers ago
a few incomprehensible utterances that plunged me into the darkness
therefore I am waiting
slowly sinking into the badlands of mind
lamb
paranoid lamb deluded by the assault of nightfall
anticipating projections from omens and gods
nervously
awaiting sudden reset of the only world I cherish and know

tomorrow
on Day of The Sun
soon
I will open my eyes to 1:09
like tormented I did yesterday
and before leaving late for my paranoid cosmos
on Day of the Moon
I will look at the infinity watch
to absorb 9:11
bold sign from the dark side

then awaken
I will see through car plates
adds
house numbers
key chains
over and over again
multi-dimensional predicament announced
pursued by apprehension too loud for comfort

last time it was NDE
this precise
phantom language encrypted in memory lapse
taste of asphalt
pain therapy
undeserved chastisement
of which
each
by now
became invariable custom

Master of Numbers
father
tell me
what is it
of this world
that is going to shift me to another?

what are You trying to imply
will happen to this sickening place
on present Earth I willingly took
so far
survived
its patterns and engagements?