I wonder
wonder so hard
fearless upon waking up on a funeral bed
where I was laying in line to be buried
still alive
still being fed
with all my nails and blood
I wonder
why they made me walk towards the source
but made me return to dust
felt so good to be home
when they again threw me into trash
and I found myself in unfamiliar time dump
recycled rat
clown in a body with arms
eyes
senses
span that always ends in a chase
rope dance
everything you touch tears apart
everything bitter is always on top
comes first
leaves last
while you look for sweetness of eternity
in every breath
instead feral fears hit again
and you never get to stay for your funeral
for a mass of everything that passed you by
life is a weird church