Author: admin

past on my back
we drag each other through wild fires of Earth
guilty of being still alive
always close to somewhere too far to reach
but we try to dance through days
and dream through nights
to get there intact and sound
find that golden edge
of eternal life
me and my past
on my back
sleeping now

I will wake its monsters if I stop
but I need to lay down and listen to secret whispers from the time
when everything was fine
and the past was light like mother’s touch

there is only one way to look at it
if you are blind
unless you open your mind to possibilities
you wonder
how did all that happen
first to body and soul
then to sky above
and to flowing landscape of death and life
with me at a bloody crossroads of both

demonic and divine

will I be the last one to finally see how that goes down
this untamed fate
iconographic chain of events on subject of
“nothing is OK”
with constructs of the fallen universe
going on in here
in my head
verse by verse according to imaginary script
with working title
“is it me or is it the world around?”

enough
going to bed at last
where people love to die
so they could be finally found
by human services right after being touched
by the soft hands of God

for now
I left this week empty to watch it again
when my mind can apply content to it
better than bits and pieces
broken lines
and make them fit into the script
after I relearn how to walk and speak
in this rough device:
universe of mine

I only pretend I don’t understand
why
barcoded
I am being held
hostage to harm since birth
prayers to the Fallen god erased
prophecies coming home
it is time to walk out of it
out of sin
while loudspeakers scream in tongues
along the skyward bridge

the new beginning missed yesterday
the only end is already here
I disobey madness
what a sick garden of barbed wires to be born to
breaking the ground with teeth
chewing bricks of every wall
where are the unicorns and desert flowers?
where is the breeze leading to sea of eternity?
Fallen god
is this why
all shooting stars pin me down to dirt?

it is love I am guilty of
pretend to look the other way
and let the angel of death take me to celestial cities
out of this thirst
beyond flesh
beyond body bag with a price tag on my laughing face
smile
smile slave
enter the valley and walk past the pineal gate
heal the slide on lies and deception
Fallen god
you can’t keep me alive forever
I found the cure
for dimensions of fear
we endure on Earth

Kiedy dusza umiera zanim umrze cialo.

Szkoda mi zyc, ale tez szkoda mi umierac. Rozdroze. Dwa warianty tego samego istnienia. Pierszego w ciele, drugiego poza cialem. Cialo i ta rzeczywistosc w ktorej cialo funckcjonuje to chaos.

Chaos mozna przedstawic, jako ocean, w ktory jestesmy rzuceni jako ktos kto nie umie plywac, jako ktos kto plywac umie, ale takze w szalupie, w lodzi podwodnej, na pokladzie komfortowego statku, okolicznosci moga byc drastycznie rozne…moze cie popychac wiatr sprzyjajacych okolicznosci, albo silnik pieniedzy twojego ojca jednak ocean sie nie zmienia, ma kaprysy i jego zadaniem jest byc zmiennym, niespokojnym, niewybaczajacym, oczywiscie zawsze smiertelnym dla biologii.
Dlatego sa stany psychiczne we mnie kiedy szkoda mi zyc i walczyc z kaprysami chaosu, tracic czas na istnienie w ciele skoro jest ono krotkie i konczy sie czesto w najmniej pozadanych okolicznosciach. Jest tylko od punku A , urodzenia w chaos, do punku B, wyjscia z chaosu i te wyjscia…raz jak w sen, raz jak w maszynke do miesa, ta meczaca biologicznosc istnienia, tak silnie powiazana z psychika. Przezywasz kazda fale chaosu, jakby to byla esencja twojego istnienia w ciele, bo powiedzmy to sobie szczerze…cialo jest do dupy w walce z chaosem, to bardzo prymitywna odpowiedz biologii na chaos, ratuje nas tylko dusza, jej ponarzeczywistosc, jej nieziemskosc, jej nie przywiazanie do tego co namacalne i bolesne. Zreszta z ciala nie umiemy korzystac, kiedy je mamy. Zanim nauczymy sie instrukcji obslugi musimy juz  je opuszcac, w miedzyczasie jest krnabrne i to ono korzysta z naszej duszy i chce mu dyktowac warunki, doslownie ZAJECHAC nasza nieziemskosc, zedrzec ja do krwii.

Za krotko istanialem poza zyciem w chaosie, zeby opisac ze szczegolami druga strone medalu: istnienie poza cialem, ale podziele sie swoimi odczuciami na ten temat i zaczac musimy od piekla. Pieklo istnieje, tak jak istnieje las…ktory poznajesz po sarnach

after you grow tired
only silence will heal your scars
self left to others to devour
screams till every mirror splits the inner path
what past have walked away from your feet
each and every day further and further
hard to soothe with despair
but what is redeemed
is increasingly painful
passage of life
heavenly scam never seemed real

hand in hand we walk into abyss
road signs of eternal quest rot and smell
holy inscriptions unread and left for dead
along the way to nothing higher
but time
what a brilliant lie
painted with colors by gimmicks of the Sun
once again
stars fall on Earth to ignite a fire
no help
as I burn with you
and yet
by myself

 

Past is done
history bleeds through your nose
your eyes
what is to come is not to be realized
through fog of blasphemy and lies
aren’t you happy
you knew your enemy before you stepped on the mine
I told you
it is gonna hurt as hell here on Earth
falling on face with Empires
Crowns
tasting the bitter ash of your own fires

but who are you to know
where to hide flesh and soul
when the future arrives on that pale horse
cuts your throat
mauls you down with a ripper device you yourself designed
fight or flight
baptism of blood
how will you catch your breath
in the river that runs through cemeteries
under the shadow of Blind Sun?

day and night
seek and hide
we are fucked

Conspiracies are created by people who either own everything or people who are completely disowned. Urge to remain in control versus desperation to break the conrol.

blades
come in different shapes
under different names
cut right through
bleed you at night
you cry
these are the young ones
you try hard
to make them go away
with cash and stuff
you earned but still
lose your mind
get in the car
quit it now
it is not your time

other blades
slice to pieces and start
all the way from the head
to bottomless fate
you could have guessed
how easy
love has become to trash
needle to heart
slaughterhouse
check your pulse
and walk away
while a man

next train
will bring that place again
to your bare feet
how sharp
is it gonna be
when you dance your dance
you wonder and  you see
the sky is watching you
through tears and clouds
it knows
peace on Earth
is death

thus dance
insane
insane
insane dance

home
sweet home
of far away

from before the days began to shine
from before the night sealed orifice of the universe
from before my eyes were forced to watch the birthing plains of continents
my mouth taste food
mortal cells
illusions of the Sun
transgressions of the Moon
my always burning flame
my divine
my Earth

and selfish
arrogant
reptilian brain
Death Trap
stem of mind
always on the edge
in the shape of fear
lust
portal to nothing but passage and dust asking why
why so much happened but refused to last as more
than markings on the stone
eternal wounds and scars

After I incarnate
I will be lucky to escape this monolith
towering edifice of master deception